I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
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Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
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I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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