I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
