two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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