Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
