So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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