Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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