sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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