girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
