i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize