he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
being pregnant is like rehab
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
