i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
