one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
