so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.