road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize