Pants 0. Shit 1.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
