I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
