this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
