they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
