My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
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