It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
