i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Semen is not good for contacts.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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