yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
