I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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