What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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