my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
