I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize