# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize