i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Randomize
