I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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