Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I want to be your penis for a week.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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