1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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