I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
