I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
