How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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