Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
