Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
