had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
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It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
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I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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