goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
