I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize