my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize