Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
