Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
