Non-Jews are for practice
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
