i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
