Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
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We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
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If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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