Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
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It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
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My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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