She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
