I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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