i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
