a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
