have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
