Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
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