So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
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porn star boner night. come get it.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
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I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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