i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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