I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize