Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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