some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
