you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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