Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
